RaNd0m Th0uGhts

Since for some time now, I haven’t got a thing to do and am idle in the truest sense of the term , my mind has got its fair chance of wondering around and is abuzz with all sorts of weird ideas . I have given myself the independence to think about anything and everything under the sun.
So today is viswakarma puja , the puja of the engineer god. That makes me think aren’t god and science two totally different things. I mean they both try to explain stuff like creation of the universe in totally different ways. One resorts to mysterious powers to explain it while the other tries to explain it in terms of existing physical phenomenon. And technology itself is a child of the sciences focusing mainly on its application side . So, the million dollar question is How come we have a god of technology? Strange isn’t it? Is it an effort to explain the explainable using inexplicable or is it the reverse ? Kinda confusing!!!

Since I find confusions tiring, I move on to the next topic. I decide to read the newspaper. There is this front-page article on Shashi Tharoor and what he posted on Twitter. What I learn from the newspaper is that someone, who was actually a journalist had left a tweet for Tharoor saying :”tell us minister,next time u travel to Kerala,will it be cattle class?” and in reply Tharoor had posted “absolutely, in cattle class out of solidarity with our holy cows”. This little joke on his part had left the whole party twitching because they wondered “was Tharoor taking a potshot at Sonia Gandhi” or “was he throwing the tweet at Rahul Gandhi”[said the newspaper].What do we call this? If u ask me, I would say it’s simply outrageous. All this time I thought that the 1st page was about all the important news in the country [how silly of me!!!] and never guessed it included following ministers and their comments on social network. And we talk about responsible journalism, right?
So, I dump the newspaper and move on. I stand in the balcony and look up to see kites flying in the sky. Kites of various shapes and sizes play hide and seek with the clouds. It’s a joy to watch. Suddenly I see a kite swishing down through the air. It’s a yellow kite with a red tail. A band of boys go running towards it, wind in their hair and eyes in the sky. One of them catches it and emerges with a triumphant smile on his face. Others follow him with a little disappointment showing on their faces. It is then that they spot a second kite coming down and forgetting everything they start running again. I feel that this running after a kite somehow symbolizes the journey of life. We run after a goal, some reach it and some don’t. But for both groups there is another new goal to achieve [or another new kite to catchJ] ,newer heights to scale with little time for despair in between. Wow!!Am impressed with my own philosophy.
Then I come into my room and remember that the next day is MAHALAYA . ie . the day that marks that DURGAPUJA is just 7days away. This day is marked by a special program on RADIO and TV called “Debi abahon” .It is basically welcoming of the mother goddess from her holy abode to earth through Vedic chants. There is this recital of it by BIRENRAKRISHNA BHADRA that is telecast early morning on radio on this day. PUJO for many Bengalis is incomplete without it. It really makes one feel the arrival of something divine. The strange thing about it is that this recital heard at any other time of the day any other time of the year doesn’t produce the effect that it produces on that particular day. I am myself one of those sleepyheads who fails to keep her eyes open after a few slokas and so I got myself a cassette of the whole thing. But it didn’t have any such effects when played at other times. You may well attribute it to my typical Bengali sentiments, but I can’t and neither do I want to change it.
Filled with a deep sense of pride at being a BENGALI, I switch on the computer and start listening to music. And guess what makes me shake my head~”it’s my life” by BON Jovi. What do u call that!!!

Waiting for your comments. Do tell me what do u really think of it?

The ever elusive LOVE

There is something elusive about love. Though there are all sorts of efforts to rationalize and explain this 4 lettered emotion, but does there exist any single universal interpretation of it? I guess no.

As far as I am concerned, this word has changed its implication to me over time. When I was a child, I had my due share of fantasizing over fairytale romance. At that time, all it implied to me was that by some magic some handsome prince would come to me on his flying horse(or pokhiraj as it is called in Bengali)and take me away. But as to how it involved any emotions, love or whatsoever, never crossed my mind.

Then in my teens, I fell in love for the first time. I was besotted by him, swooned over him, wanted to marry him even(even though I had literally no idea of what a marriage implied) and waited all day to catch a glimpse of him. I was literally ready to kill for him and trust me my heart missed a beat whenever I heard his name. He was none other than SHAHRUKH KHAN..(forgive the caps…I still love err..like him boss).

Then came the serious part. I was nearing adulthood(I mean the legal one)

when I met Him. Lets not take names here, let me call him T. So T was this popular guy who had a HUGE fan following especially among the girls and I was this geeky girl, trying to be invisible especially around him. But “man proposes n god disposes” so they say and this case cupid decided to intervene or so I guess. Keeping aside the details, in all fairness it could be said that we were into a relationship[were we?]

Then adulthood came, some things changed between us. Mathematically speaking the equations weren’t quite right between us[god help engineers like me].So it was more of an intermittent love affair, we were in and out of the relationship alternately for 2-3 months-but we were together. Right? Lets not dwell on that part too much. But this whole time I had such high expectations from love. Love is pure, ties two souls together, looks beyond imperfections and so on and so forth..phew!!!The very thought that I thought these to be true makes me giggle. And all this time I was legally an adult[god bless the law] and an impractical goat of an adult[can’t help saying].

Then one day it was over. No more of intermittent single and committed status on orkut .For a few days felt free like a bird. I could do whatever I wished, no huge phone bills, no lying at home about extra pocket money-infact it felt good. But then suddenly it felt bad too. I was on a visit to Shillong in winter.The weather was perfect,the scenic beauty breathtaking and everything was flawless. But something inside me wasn’t alright . Every time I saw a great place, I remembered him, saw something breathtaking and I craved for him…Something made me long for him all the time. That I guess was the point when I realized what love was all about. To me it was and still is something that makes the imperfect perfect and the mundane interesting and even the boring tolerable.

Now am 22,reasonably reasonable and practical[at least I think so].Now T is committed to someone else. I don’t really blame him because I myself no longer believe that it’s possible to wait for love and all that crap . But then there is a great big BUT here . T and B [let that be T’s new found lady love] are committed to each other mind and soul. There isn’t a reason to think otherwise. But where do I stand? The most practical ones among u will say , move on. But I simply can’t. I keep remembering him every moment. In my lonely moments I can still see the way he crinkled his nose when he smiled, the way he frowned when offended ,the way he walked, the way he talked and everything to the minutest detail.Even now something of importance happens and I long to tell him about it.Can anyone now tell me, what this is all about ? Do my feelings lose all their relevance just because he loves someone else? Is it illegitimate of me to love him now? Or is it unethical?

This dilemma in its turn makes me think about love again.What is it about love that differentiates it from its ill-reputed lesser versions like stalking , crush , obsession etc? Is it simply the fact that love is supposed to be a two-way affair ? But why does my feeling have to be renamed depending on someone else ? Other emotions are not so susceptible to other peoples’ viewpoint as love is and all this time I believed love was so divine and pure and what not[!!!].I guess there is a fine line of demarcation between love and obsession. But the irony is that a stalker also believes himself to be in love..right? Its all so messed up..or is it me who is all messed up?

Comments are eagerly awaited. And a word of caution to all-all characters ,places and events described herein are imaginary. Any resemblance whatsoever to any person is purely coincidental.