22years of living at home and being cared for n looked after by parents and one fine morning i was told I was to leave all of it and live away from them at Guwahati.What was my first reaction?Was it happiness or sadness or a mixture of the above two.Going by my first line, u will be tempted to vote for the latter but no.It wasn’t sad for me at all since I had waited for this call since a few months n pined n fretted to be liberated from the state of being completely idle.
Loads of shopping and preparation later I was in Guwahati in Assam.It was middle of December and bitterly cold and I gagged at the thought of waking up at 6 in the morning to attend office everyday.To me it seemed a task I would never manage to accomplish and by never I mean NEVER.Then again we had fixed mealtimes and my parents were pretty sure that I would surely die of starvation(u would also be if u knew me half as well!!!).
The first few days went pretty smoothly given that my parents were here to get me anything I wanted.But then my parents left for Kolkta and truly for the first time in 22 years I was by myself.I was happy,sad,nervous....i don’t know.There are some emotions which can’t be described by any of these words.I was happy that there was no one to ask me questions ,no timelimits to stick to...nothing...It was kind of liberating..or was it?Was I really free?
I wake up at 6 cursing the whole lot of my company,get ready by 7:30 and go down for breakfast.I grab a quick bite and am in the office-bus by 8 am.One hour of bus journey later I reach office and classes commence.Office gets over at 6 and I hour later I am back in hostel,having a lot of time to waste,but hardly having any of my vitality left for anything other than eat n sleep.
So what’s amiss?I do have meals but if I miss the time anyday..I am free to complain as much as possible about my hunger,but nobody is bothered to give me something else to eat.I remember my days at home when i used to bother everyone a lot if the same dish got repeated for consecutive days and here I eat the same sabzi n dal twice daily and I dnt complain since I know its useless.I,someone to whom a meal remained incomplete without a non-veg dish in the end,has settled to eating the tasteless vegetarian food served here without a word.So many little things in life that I took for granted then, are no longer so obvious.Back then, my clothes where washed and ironed in time and kept ready for me..here I have to find out which of them needs cleaning and deposit them at the laundry at a fixed time in order to get that clean feeling that I took for granted at home.I have to keep a lookout for the biscuit packets to be empty so that I can get new packets in time or else go hungry for evenings on weekdays.
I do have the time to go out on nights..but then I think about all the pros n cons n decide more often than not that its a bad idea.And that reminds me how I used to be cross with my mom for not letting me stay out late into the night.For the first time in my life I realise that with independence comes great responsibilities.
I feel grateful to my parents for giving me so many years of blissful life without having to worry about a thing.I realise now what it takes to keep a house running and I feel ashamed to realise that I never thanked my mother for looking after the minutest of details to ensure that the irresponsible pig in me had a great time.Here is to my mom n dad- a big THANK U...I know it aint enough and nothing I ever say or do will be ever enough to thank them enough.But still THANK YOU mom n dad..thanku for everything...
N.B-Great big thanks to ADITYA for giving me a great amount of strength in the hours of loneliness out here and reminding me that I could fly when I dint believe my legs to be strong enough even to walk...Though he is mentioned the last in this writing ,to assume that his efforts were the least will be a mistake which I would request everyone to refrain from doing...
